Private Practice at Any Age: Wisdom, Aging, and Thriving as a Therapist
Let’s be real: building a private practice isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s the perfect blend of leap, stumble, celebrate, question your life choices, and leap again. If you’re standing at the edge - whether you’re fresh out of school, mid-career and exhausted, or rediscovering your drive after years in the trenches - today’s wisdom is for you.
We’re diving into the latest episode of the Starting a Counseling Practice Success Stories podcast, where Melanie (she/her), therapist and wisdom-sharer from Santa Fe, New Mexico, joins host Kelly Higdon. Melanie’s story? Equal parts inspiration, reality check, and the kind of honesty that makes you want to shout “yes!” in your car.
Let’s take the winding - and oh so rewarding - road through Melanie’s journey, and pull out the big lessons for anyone ready to grow a private practice on their own terms.
Late Bloomer? You’re Just On Time
There’s a myth that you should already “be there”: together, established, booked out, running a business with the grace (and spreadsheets) of a seasoned CEO. Melanie’s story? The exact opposite, and beautifully so.
“I am definitely a late bloomer. So I didn't finish my Ph.D. until I was sort of, I don't know, early 30s. So I'd say let's give it 20 years.”
Like so many therapists, she started where most do: supervision hours, a fancy title in a not-so-fancy Intensive Outpatient Program, and (wait for it) a mind-boggling paycheck:
“It was a hellscape of a job. It was awful, which, you know, we have heard a lot of stories like this. And, and I had my PhD and I was licensed and all of that. And I was being paid $18 an hour. It still pisses me off.”
Let’s underline this for the folks in the back: You can be brilliant and still paid peanuts by the system. And that is not a reflection of your value.
Melanie’s turning point? Not getting a raise from $18 to $20/hr. That tiny, infuriating No was the nudge she needed to build something of her own.
Lesson One: Freedom (and the Risks) of Doing It Your Way
Melanie’s confession? “I am a bad employee. I'm a bad employee. I, I, I am much more comfortable in a leadership position. I like working on the right team. As I define right team… I need to feel respected. I need to have a great deal of autonomy.”
Welcome to private practice, where you’re the boss—and the most important team member. For many, the draw is being able to:
Set your own schedule
Choose your own clients
Build safeguards and boundaries based on what you need
But here’s the kicker: doing it your way also means you need to define what “your way” even is. That starts with self-reflection and lots of trial and error. (Spoiler alert: Melanie has tried ALL the things.)
Facing the Everest: Money Mindset and Raising Your Fees
Ready for some real talk? Melanie’s moment of truth was, you guessed it—raising her fees.
“One of my big learning curves… was raising my fees. Oh, my God. I had to work through so much of my own poverty mentality and, you know, inherited trauma… I'm very much a people pleaser child of trauma myself, as I'm a trauma specialist. And the idea of me claiming my worth felt like Mount Everest.”
That feeling—gut-level fear, shame, the somatic ‘oof’ when you name your rate—is so familiar for many therapists. Here’s Melanie’s dose of truth serum:
“I now am one of the highest fee therapists in the state. I'm having a little somatic response of like, ooh, is that okay?… Some of them get upset when they don't have the money to pay for my fee. And I get that. Oh, my God, I get that. And anyway, it was just a bunch, a bunch, a bunch of stuff for me in terms of my own personal growth and evolution to become an actual business owner and get conscious and get some insight about what my needs really are.”
Takeaway? Your needs matter. Your fees should support your life, not just your clients’ transformation.
Tip for the road: Run your numbers (spreadsheet phobics, you’re not alone). Characterize your needs. Set your fees accordingly. The right clients will stay. “I didn't lose one client. I now am one of the highest fee therapists in the state.”
Progress, Not Perfection
If you’re a recovering perfectionist (hi, it’s everyone in the Zoom room), Melanie’s journey gives a massive permission slip.
“But I'm so much better. And thank goodness it's not about perfection. It's only about progress.”
You don’t need to have everything buttoned up to grow. You need to take action, even if it’s messy - especially when it’s messy. Celebrate every step, every wobble.
Attunement: The Secret Ingredient to Great Practice (and You’ll Have to Learn It, Too)
What happens as you grow? You get older. Your body, energy, goals - everything shifts. Melanie gets very real about what this means as a therapist:
“My health. I can't breathe at this altitude anymore… it has begun affecting my cognitive abilities, my ability to exercise… activating all of those yummy existential terrors of, oh, my own mortality, my own vulnerability… Can I offer, can I fulfill what I say I can do for clients now?... Can I still be a relevant therapist?”
Aging in private practice means more realignment, more letting go, and more compassion for yourself.
What’s the move? Radical self-attunement.
You’ll need to:
Reengineer your schedule (“I never book a client any later than one o'clock… because I know I'm no good after that.”)
Honor your body’s changes, even when the “power through” habit is strong
Redefine what “enough” looks like (clients, hours, income…all of it)
As Barbara G. sums up: “As these circumstances shift, there's a call for deeper self attunement. And that self attunement then gets reflected in the practice and clients benefit from that.”
The True Value of Experience
What if aging is actually a marketing advantage? (Stay with us.)
Melanie notices, “There's something about the wisdom that might come with aging that is actually a pretty high value. And I'm finding that I'm attracting clients for whom that's the case… when I need to work with somebody or get a consult… I need somebody with some life, life, life, living experiences. And I've had several of my newest clients say that to me. So there's a way in which I can actually leverage this in a marketing sense.”
Wherever you are in your career lifecycle, your unique experience is worth celebrating. Market it. Lean into it. Clients want your insight and depth.
The Unknown Path: Embracing Uncertainty
If hearing “five-year plan” makes you break out in a rash, Melanie’s got you:
“I have no idea... I'm really getting old and, and I keep saying that and I'm still learning to make peace with all this… I have not fully, of course, made peace with that… Because really, do I have 10 more years in me? ... And the second reason for that fear response is about what's happening in the world.”
The lesson? You don’t have to know it all. Actually, you probably can’t. But you do need to keep learning, growing, and loving who you become along the way.
“There’s so much liberation and freedom and lightness for me in ha. And continuing to learn because I'm not going to make it this lifetime, but continuing to learn to let it go. Put it down, put it down. Trust, trust, trust.”
Starting Out or Winding Down: Melanie’s Wisdom for Every Therapist
Whether you’re just launching or feeling your age, Melanie brings grounded wisdom to both:
On starting out:
“The first phrase is trust yourself, trust your knowing and, and admit that that is really hard to do when you don't know what you're doing and you don't know which direction you're going in. And if you’re in a toxic system… get help. A program such as Business School for Therapists, a community, a tribe of folks… Have good support around you.”
On aging in the field:
“There's just so much denial about aging in our culture, especially if you're, you know, walking around in a, in a female gendered body or female identified body. There's so much toxicity, so many… terribly damaging core beliefs that we have all internalized, which also means or invites that there's so much still to learn, to grow, to feel into about how it lands with you… Don’t buy into the BS before you’ve explored it for yourself.”
Quote that one, stick it on the fridge.
Your Practice, Your Way - And You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
Truth: Building a private practice is not a “set it and forget it” gig. It asks everything of you - your numbers, your values, your boundaries, your story, and your willingness to grow. It also gives back in kind: autonomy, income, joy, and maybe even a new lease on life.
Melanie’s closing message? Progress, not perfection. Self-compassion, not just externally but within your business. And community - don’t skip it.
Resources Mentioned
Hear what Melanie has to say about joining Business School for Therapists and how it changed her life and her practice.
Tell us: What lesson from Melanie’s journey will you carry forward? Drop a comment, share with a friend, or just take that first brave step - because you’re not the only one on the river, and the next bend might be the best yet.
